I came across one of the worst dating/relationship/crossfit articles I’ve ever read and felt compelled to respond to it. The writer had great intentions of building value in how CrossFit empowers women, but she fails to understand how women behave or what men are actually looking for in a significant otherOriginal article by Pam Rehal can be seen here and my responses are the bold font.-------------------------------------------------You are probably sitting there going "Ugh. Is she really going there?" YUP I AM. And let's be honest, you are going to read it anyway, so stop complaining. I can also pretty much guarantee that at some point while reading this you are going to start nodding your head in agreement... I can't wait for that part. OK, so here we go:1. CrossFit girls are seriously fit. Y'all complain that girls don't spend enough time in the gym/harass you for spending too much time in the gym. A CrossFit girl not only spends copious amounts of time working out, but also will only date a guy that does the same. We can't be running around with guys who don't work out. Obviously.Almost all of the pressure that women feel about working out either comes from society pressuring women to be thin or is self-inflicted. Unless you suffer from foot-in-mouth syndrome, there are only a handful of times when it's acceptable to tell your partner they aren't spending enough time in the gym. What the writer meant to say is that having a common interest like CrossFit will earn you immediate respect that pilates, marathoners, and yoga people won't garner. 2. Dedication. If you are REALLY into CrossFit you know it takes true dedication to become the beast that you want to be in the gym. This also usually means she puts dedication into all other parts of her life and maybe even into you... if you are lucky.Let me get this straight, if the girl puts more dedication into the gym by spending more time doing CrossFit she will have more time for me and be more dedicated for things she has less time for? This sounds like the logic on those AT&T commercials with the kids all sitting around in a circle.3. CrossFit girls are (for the most part) "guy's girls." We can throw significant amount of weight around at the gym, be showered and out the door in 20 minutes, hang to drink a beer, and watch the game with your friends. It's that easy.Anyone who thinks girls can get ready in 20 minutes is delusional. I encourage you to set the ultimatum of a 20 minute timer and see how often you're flying solo. I'll go so far as saying that any woman who consistently gets ready in 20 minutes is not dating material. Even I understand that women enjoy getting ready almost as much as the actual event.4. Independence. Realistically, a CrossFit girl couldn't care less whether she is single or not because she would rather be spending her extra time in the gym anyway. That being said, she doesn't NEED you in her life, but if you are lucky enough to be in her life it's because she WANTS you there. Just don't try to cut into her gym time because that will definitely not fly.How low are this writer's expectations of independent women. Woman has hobby, woman is independent. Let me replace CrossFit with cat enthusiast to prove that this doesn't mean independence.A CrossFit middle aged cat loving woman couldn't care less whether she is single or not because she would rather be spending her extra time in the gym playing with her cats anyway. That being said, she doesn't NEED you in her life, but if you are lucky enough to be in her life it's because she WANTS you there. Just don't try to cut into her gym cat cuddling time because that will definitely not fly.5. Competitive nature. To do CrossFit you have to be competitive not only with other people, but with yourself. This personality trait leads to all sorts of fun if you ask me... who wants a girl that when you dare her to do something just sits there and flakes out? BORING.If you've spent any amount of time around women, you would realize that women are actually more competitive than men, but they grunt less. Here are a few of the things that women compete with each other about at first glance; hair, makeup, having perfect skin, who overspent more on their purse, how well their jeans fit, shoes, overall style, beauty, wedding rings, being thin, whether they used an epidural while giving birth, how cute their kids are. Everything they do is a sitting down pissing contest.The second half of the article was even worse than the first, so I'm not wasting more time on it. However, I'll drop some relationship advice for all CrossFit women that will be worth more than what you'll read anywhere else.The foundation of all relationships is based on trust and respect. Both of these are earned incrementally and not immediately given. Three things that will help speed up the relationship process
- Be yourself - It’s important even if you're a Stage-5 Clinger. The quicker you're able to tell the person what you're thinking, or when you’re thinking of them without playing the wait-three-days-to-call – card, the quicker you'll be in that relationship. If the feelings are mutual, it will be reciprocated. And yes, that statement implies that women will be the ones who have to make themselves emotionally vulnerable, because they're much better at articulating their feelings.
- Have a hobby/interest - What this writer was trying to say (and failing horribly in doing so) is that both men and women are attracted to someone who’s passionate. If you've ever heard of a relationship ending abruptly because they were missing that spark, it's because one or both people in the relationship stopped improving themselves. Women especially will often put their own interests and hobbies on the backburner to support their significant other or raise the kids. If you don't know how you want to spend that one hour of free time every day, you're not ready for a relationship anyway.
- Mutual Interests - This ties both ideas together. Whether it's religion, politics, fitness, cooking, music, find someone who shares as many of your interests as possible. If you're pretending to like things that men are interested in, it will come off as desperate. If you know how you want to spend your free time, you'll quickly know whether someone else is interested in those same things.